Geneva, Switzerland

WHAT'S HAPPENING!

I'm reporting live from Geneva, SWITZERLAND!! Who would've ever thought I'd be here? Not I! I like to tell my story a hundred times over because it amazes me how I got here!

So I've been thinking about leaving Riverside during the summer because I wanted to escape the heat, but I know my parents would despise it if I'm not doing school work. So I thought this was the perfect opportunity to STUDY ABROAD! I have dreamt of studying abroad in NEW ZEALAND- Pacific Islander studies. This has been my plan since high school! But when I started my research for study abroad programs at the Uni of Auckland, they did not have any specific classes that could pertain to my major. So I looked elsewhere. I thought, "I can always go to Auckland. I have a lot of family there!" So then on, I started my quest for another program and that's when I came across this program, The Politics of Global Inequality. This was back in October 2013 when I started thinking about this program. I started my application in January when it opened up and finished everything by mid-March. Thankfully, I was accepted!....couple months down the line, I came across a financial situation. As the days of my departure to Switzerland got closer, I had no sure answer from UCR Financial Aid office whether I was getting my funds in before my departure. Only a couple days before I was suppose to leave, and after countless efforts to expedite an absolute answer from UCR Financial Aid office, I had no money to purchase my ticket. I had a few friends talk me into fundraising, but I thought the idea was outrageous, and I had a lot of pride in me to ask other people for money. On a Wednesday night, I outlined a donation letter that my good friend, Dboy, wrote out for me. We launched in on Thursday in the afternoon- end goal $2,500. By Saturday night, I received $2,700. MY GOD IS SO GOOD! I remember I could feel the little fire in me just gasping for hope...like "don't give up Sina. 'Oua loto si'i". I had immense support from my loved ones. At the end of each fundraising day, I said a little prayer thanking God for His Grace. That whatever was going to be the outcome, it was in His will. I was content with that. By Sunday night, after purchasing my airfare ticket to Geneva (which was $2,300) I was up to $3,000. As I speak right now, friends and family are still donating. I don't know where I'll be without those who believe in this young girl! The moral of my story: I regained confidence and a humble reminder that this road to education does not only uplift myself, but all of those supporting me. I fasted the Wednesday before I launched my fundraiser asking God to bless those hands at the UCR Financial Aid office to release my funds. And I found it so fascinating that God chose for me to receive my funds in a much more meaningful way. This trip to Geneva wouldn't have meant this much to me if I did not take this route of coming here. I am truly humbled and blessed to have those who have supported and continue to support me in my educational endeavors. May God bless yall and keep yall! THANK YOU! MALO 'AUPITO! 'OFA ATU!

Reflections

Think about all the things you've gone through- the good and the bad. Acknowledge the bad, but focus on the good. Does your good outweigh your bad?

Now, ever think about your innocent/better days? Are there days you think it WAS better?

That leads me to what made me write this entry. I think that I was a lot smarter when I was younger. I was focused, quick-witted, and considerate. Excuse me if this doesn't make sense, but I think I'm a lot dumber than I was when I was only a teenager. I used to get my homework done, make sure my little brother was fed, and I did things in order to make me a better person. But now I feel lost. It has come to mind that I may just be distracted- very distracted- with worldly things. And I think it's because I'm out of touch with my spiritual self. It's been a while since my spiritual being has been fed, and I think that's what's hungry. Recently, I've been dwelling on how much better of a person I can be, but I'm not taking any action. There's no motivation. I was sad for some time, but I really can't point out why I was sad. I was just sad. I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I wasn't in the mood for anything, either.

A lot of times I catch myself thinking about where I am in life- how far I've made it thus far- and it's unbelievable. My spirit has gone through a lot of emotional pain, but I've endured it. I've persevered only to come out stronger and wiser. In my times in that dark tunnel, I have never been so focused on that light at the end of it...thinking of better days, and slowly moving towards it. It's harder to believe it's the people I hold dearest to my heart who have caused the most pain. I've had times where I felt I was drowning in my emotions and no one could save me from it. I've never prayed so hard. Prayed to God that my heart is not burdened with hatred and that I live to love another day. Time has definitely healed a lot, but I know I still have some repercussions from these events. God kept my sanity. I never believed what was said about me, because I believed what He made out for me. I made it from a ghetto infamous high school, through a community college, to a university where I can study what I'm passionate about- politics and law to help my loved ones in need.

Now today. I struggle with myself. I struggle with where I want to go, what I want to do, and how I am going to do it. It's like my feet is cuffed to the ground, and I can't move anywhere. I feel so stagnant, and sometimes even powerless. I feel guilty because I'm away from home, missing out on family events, and watching my family grow. These are all necessary thoughts, but I need to keep moving. I gave it a lot of thought...maybe too much. I admit I'm a lot wiser than I was when I was younger, but on the flip side, I know I'm a lot more involved in the world than I ever was.

How can I absorb what I know now, and build upon it to make myself a smarter, dignifying young woman?

Part of me is scared. Scared of how the world will view me if I live my life full force! If I do exactly what I want to! This may even sound ridiculous, but at times I'm scared to show how smart I really am! I hold back on showing the world how deep I feel, how romantic I am, or how hard I love! I even slang my words to disguise my infatuation for intelligence! It's nothing to show off, of course. But it's also something you can't stay too modest about! *sighs*

I may not have a lot to say in person, but my mind is always rambling about how I interact daily. I absorb every life experience and make it a learning experience. Overall, I love the life I live! I thank God for my life, my health, and my family! I don't have answers to what I've written, but this is a part of the process...just laying it all out, and eventually putting the pieces together.

This song got me thinking and evaluating a LOT! But overall, it has reminded me to Thank GOD for my life!

My Dearest Sina

Thank you for all the love you have given me even when I don't receive it from those closest to me-family. I try to love you the way God would want it- in a way that is patient and a way that is kind. I don't only want to call you beautiful because that doesn't amount to the elation I receive when I look at you. Your beauty lies on your lips when you say things to encourage others and brighten up other people's days. Your beauty is reflected in your loyalty as you seek out to help others- even when they have once hurt you. Your power to understand me in all situations- much better than I understand myself- has made me fall in love with you more as the days go by. Your eyes tell me that you've dealt with great deals of pain from people you've invested your time and love in. But I promise you I'm here to stay. I will love you each day so I can mend that sorrow you once felt. I hope to be all you want, especially all you need. You make me feel complete. Along with God and family, I want to love and protect you until my dying days and for eternity. You can take advantage of my love, my body, and my spirit- as long as you are mines- I will be content. No one will ever be perfect for me as you are. I'm always here for you, through the good and the bad.

With love forever and always, Your soul mate

Interesting? Or Nah?

I swear my posts are so longwinded and looks SO BORING! I promise I'll work on that! More color? More pictures? Hmmmmm...

Wellllll damn, has it been THAT long since I've last updated this blog? I come back to read a few posts and get embarrassed about what I said...LOL! It's been almost half a year since I've last updated this, and I'm back to put my lovely two-cents in here. :) First of all, yo' girl ended up attending University of California, Riverside--the Highlanders! WOOPWOOP! Be excited for me, yall! Because it wasn't easy transitioning there and I'm beyond thankful I made it through my first quarter. Winter quarter starts in 7 days for me! Ahhhh, I'm gonna miss uike lotu :(

Anyways, my experience in Riverside is a HARD one. After 3 months there, I'm STILL trying to get used to it. Riverside already had a stigma before I even thought of going there..I hated Riverside. And it was one hell of a job to talk myself into moving there. LOL! The air is bad for me and my allergies have never been so bad until I got there. The water is rated SECOND most intoxicated water in the nation, about 15 chemicals above the national limit of what is considered healthy. *gags* Gosh, aaaaand then, everything is driving distance away. I can't walk to any store at my convenience. It doesn't help that it is hilly (hence, why we're called HIGH-land-ers :/). But where am I going with this? That no one cares and I have to get used to it in order to love where I'm going to stay for the next TWO YEARS! LOL. I'm slowly pinning out the good things in Riverside that'll help me, wellllll, not complain as much. LOL. I come from LA where EVERYTHING is at your convenience. I've lived my whole life with a 7-11 or liquor store at the end of my block.

Well one good thing about me in Riverside is that I finally got over my fear of cockroaches LOL! Not too significant, but that saved me a whole lot of time from having to call someone to do the dirty work for me ;) As for UCR as an institution, I love it! UC's have soooo much more resources than a community college. Everyone is helpful and are more than willing to help. We are also ranked #2 in the nation for public service-this is my forte :) I've made awesome friends who like to TURN UP but are geeky and like random little facts like I do. LOL..was that hella corny? Oh wells. LOL.

Since school has started, I have nothing else to really update about. My hair has finally reached my lower back. LOL.. Ok, focusssss, lol. Well it's safe to say I will make it a goal to write in here more often. I kind of have to. You see, I'm a political science-law and society- major and we do a SHITLOAD of reading and writing. Why not enhance my writing skills with some leisure writing? I'll just come here and release all my ideas I've had bottled in my head, and eventually see how my writing has progressed. Sound like a plan? YESSUHHH!! I look back at my posts from years ago and I turn red...it's so fob! LOL! But what can improve my writing other than a little more practice? Soooo if you, the reader, have anything to say about my writings or my fobness, don't hesitate to let me know. Comment below...if you down wit da get down! haha.. *kevin harts voice* SAY IT WIT CHO CHEST LIL NIGGA! haha! Ok, I'll be back soon. Until then, take care my loves!

Phone Banking

Today (well, technically yesterday) I was placed at APALC to phone bank! As much as I PREACH about voting, I have never done phone banking. For those of you who don't know what it is, phone banking is calling people from your community (voting jurisdictions) to ask questions regarding any upcoming election. For this specific event, we were calling Asian American and Pacific Islander people in Los Angeles to ask (1) if they're voting for May 21st, 2013 General Municipal Election (2) what are their top 3 policy concerns (3) do they need help with voting (translated materials, polling locations, etc).

As lucky as I am, I was assigned to call the TONGAN people of Los Angeles. Gahleeeee, you know we all know each other! If not, we know someone who knows someone else. I had a list of 65 Tongans to call, which was a speck of powder compared to the thousands of Asians my colleagues had on their call list. But anyways, I worked with what I had. I only had a handful of people who answered their phone and majority of the phones were cut. A good 5 people hung up on me, copped attitude, and straight lied to me (laughing that I'm calling). I just have a few things to say about my first experience. It was FUN! And to my surprise, I was never discouraged and embarrassed to call and talk to my Tongan people in a professional manner...even the fobs! ;) Just a few things had me thinking today:

(1) My TONGAN people! Please pay your phone bills! I forreal memorized the woman operator's voice memo *dial-up tone* THE NUMBER YOU DIALED HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED. ahaha..Nah, just jokes. But this was one repeating factor. Noone's phone was connected!

(2) I took on this assignment because I miss outreaching for voting! But I also did it because Tongans are not only underrepresented, but the very few of us who are representatives, we don't take callers seriously because they're palangi! I thought as a Tongan young woman, I'd be able to reach out to my people, talk a little fob, and connect them to political issues in the way Tongan people appeal to it! I was sad for people (and I remember yall names haha) who rudely refused to talk to me about voting. We (as outreachers) are not selling you anything! We are doing a public service to give our people a better understanding, and more knowledge about voting and how it affects you. If you don't know what I'm saying, but would like to, HOLLA AT ME! I'll get you to phone bank, and see how it goes. I have never appreciated survey people who call until I was calling around doing the same thing and I LEARNED A LOT! And I bet you would too :)

(3) Thank you to my home girl AMELIA SILI for taking time out of her day to answer my phone (she was on my calling list) call and willingly answering my questions. You rock! And I'm so happy to have you as a committed voter and CARING about issues that you are concerned about- education, healthcare, and immigration! Right on sister! And one inspiring man made my day. 65 year old Tongan elder from the valley. [cannot disclose his name] But I call him and tell him the whole getdown of who I am and what organization I'm calling on behalf of and to my surprise, he tells me he's got his sample ballot, knows where his polling place is, and is going to vote on TUESDAY! *tears of joy* Then our conversation goes on as I asked him more questions and he answered with what his policy concerns are and why he votes. He's not even a vote-by-mail! He said he likes going to polls. Now see, this was all I needed to hear to make me feel like my time phone banking was well worth it. Even though he is an elder, I respect him for being ENGAGED in his duties as an American citizen! I hope I get to meet this man one day so I can get to know more about him...we need more Tongan men proactive like him!

(4) I noticed something different in me today. I have no idea where it came from, or if this is just my first time noticing it, but I was very open to interacting with other people. I'm so Polynesian-oriented that I tend to isolate myself from mingling with other races. Atleast until today. I was talking with everyone in the room, made some new friends, and landed some new opportunities to further work with immigration reform projects! SCORE! I'm so proud of myself (not to toot my own horn) but honestly, my heart has opened up to new experiences and helping out my community.

I know this was a long ass blog. But I promise I only did this to vent because I don't have much friends...haha. JK! I'm super excited for what else YOUR VOTE MATTERS campaign has coming up. Shoutout to APALC for the great hospitality and new learning experience! If you ever get a call from a phone banker, please don't ignore them...it just might be me ;) lol

2013

Heyyyy! I know I've strayed away from blogging for a while, but for a good reason! Because I've stopped my "FOFREE" ways and am only doing it when necessary...like right now. Life has been a bit....busy. But I'm grateful for breathing and living another day! I'm still going to school, El Camino to be exact, and I'm finishing up before I transfer to a 4-year university. Ahhh, yes, the butterflies have yet to come. Right now I'm feeling a bit cautious. I feel stuck at where I'm at. I was accepted to one university so far, but I have yet to hear from that ONE school where my heart is really set at. And I hope and pray I make it there. God knows how much I need to go to school there. Of course, it's away from home. I need to BREATHE! But I say I feel stuck because if I don't make it there, I don't know how I will do if I do end up going to another school (closer to home). I have very bad habits I need to break and I feel I can break that once I break away from home. Anyways, that's my philosophy of self-improvement ever since my trip to Washington, DC last summer. I'm cautious because ANYTHING can happen. I may get denied, or not be able to afford school. But with the grace of God, I am gaining patience and understanding for anything that COULD happen. Anyways, other than my sob stories, I'm currently employed at a ghetto fabulous hotel. I would say the name but I don't want any of yall poppin' up over there asking for discounts and/or a free room. I'm getting my ish together, tryna make that PAYPAH. Nahhh, I'm just tryna keep myself busy while paying for my own fofree stuff. Soooooooo, what yall think about the Obama Administration pushing another 4-years? I know I'm late with the election last November, but I see Obama being a lot more proactive in his legislation and presidency. Or atleast since I've been paying attention. I hope you're reading this and saying you voted, team Obama or team Romney, as long as you voted. :) Other than that, I have yet to put up the juicy news in the upcoming weeks. PRAY FOR ME, YALL! Much Love and Respect!!